Trick or Treat
by Maureen S. O'Brien

Disclaimer: Characters and situations from Cupid belong to
Mandalay Productions, and are used without permission but with
lots of love.

Author's Note: This story takes place immediately after the
Halloween episode, "The Meat Market", and before "SureScore".

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"Laughter-loving Aphrodite."  Yeah, laugh it up, Mom.  Here I am,
your son, watching a woman I want, walk away with....

Her perfect man. The guy _I_ set her up with. 

Ouch!  

Today's second life lesson: Trees do not make a good punching bag.

Well, it's not as if I was gonna get laid last night anyway. Ever
Zeus had that unfortunate encounter with Catherine the Great, he's
laid down the law that any god who has sex with a mortal gets to 
_be_ mortal. And I am not about to trade eternity for any woman.
Especially not for Claire, who pisses me off more than anyone I've
ever met, including Ares. Even if she does have Athena's flashing
eyes and brain....

Well, at least now my hands match.

Anyway, it's not as if this DeMoy character is going to stick 
around, right? He's not smart. Oh, no. Not with a Pulitzer Prize.
They give those to stupid people.

Like the man who was waiting outside her house, to make sure she got
home all right. Like the man who encouraged her to go out and find 
someone on Halloween. Like the man who set her up!

My hands hurt, but it's the arrow wound that really stings. I told 
you to stay out of my stuff, Mom! Foam-born? More like foam-brain!

Funny. I never noticed I'd been hit until just now, and now I can't
feel anything else. Well, except loneliness. And jealousy -- ooh, big
time. Plus worry, with a side order of fear and a tall frosty despair.

But this Happy Meal comes with a free toy named Hope at the bottom. 
She still doesn't know anyone else like me. She still has a date 
with me every week -- call it an appointment if you will. I'm 
the only Greek god in this town, and the suavest in any town. As soon
as I get those 100 couples out of the way, I'm in. 

If I want to lose my immortality, of course. Geez, Zeus, one bad
experience and you screw it up for the rest of us.

So that guy DeMoy is going to be suckin' down espresso from her 
machine? Him and his cold-December Counting Crows?

Ouch. I'm gonna have a headache.