Title: Hentai Author: Maureen S. O'Brien Date: 7/7/98 Archive: Gossamer and others, yes please. Rating: PG-13 Category: V Summary: Scully tells all. Disclaimer: CC, Ten Thirteen, and Fox own them. I just embarrass them. Author's Note: This one's for Imajiru, though I'm not sure she'll thank me for it.... ;) --------------------------------------------------------------------- The problem is.... The problem is, I never thought it was a problem. Missy claimed to have lost hers at an impossibly young age; I'm not sure when she stopped lying about that question in "Truth or Dare", but it was before she started junior high. But then, she had a very early puberty. Bill did it sometime in high school. I don't know when Charles did, but he did. As for me.... I was a normal enough teenager. Of course I wanted to do it. But I just didn't see the point if it wasn't part of something fairly permanent. I had high ideals about what love should be like, high goals for myself and high expectations for everyone else. I dated, but I never fell in love till I met Marcus. Marcus. I can't help but smile, even now. He was smart, he was handsome, and he loved me too. It probably would have been serious. It might even have survived our college years. But fate in the form of a fire engine kept us apart, and Marcus married a very nice insurance agent and began a career as an actuary. (Sometimes I think I'm an actuary too. Sometimes, when we go on a case, I find myself calculating which person whom we meet is most likely to die....) So I went to college. Yeah, I did some wild stuff. But I wasn't so insecure that I had to begin my freshman year with a round of bedhopping, pillpopping, getting drunk every night, or vomiting myself thin. And why should I have? My parental legacy might have been just as dangerous, but it wasn't nearly as showy. In college, everyone assumes you've done it, so you don't have to admit it if you don't want to. Not being masochistic, I didn't want to. And frankly, considering the things I heard from my friends when their relationships weren't going well, I'm just as glad I wasn't doing it with college boys. So I graduated and went to med school, where nobody has time. And then I went to Quantico, where nobody's supposed to have time. I was so good a student that I had time to fall in love with Jack Willis, which was unprofessional, to say the least. If he'd asked me, I would have. But he was an old-fashioned sort of man, and a little uneasy about my youth and his mentor role. We bundled, as they say, but nothing more. We were going to wait until we got married, and then we never did. So I never did, either. Brother Andrew? Yeah, that would have been an X-File. Though he made a cute guy. Ed Jerse? We got pretty close, but either guilt over his divorce, nagging from his tattoo, or all that alcohol we drank got the best of him. I wanted to take the couch, but he wouldn't let me. Some kind of male thing. I was too tired to argue. Ed Jerse, Eddie Van Blundht, and cancer. Those three put me off men for a long time. I've read stories where people with terminal illnesses do some kind of great romance thing before they die; I want to know where they get the energy. Okay, so I found the energy to take down bad guys and chase lights. But that was work. I was used to it. So let me sum up. Despite the peer pressure of an entire culture, I've never thought it was a problem. (I thought my peers were a problem.) I'm not scared of it. I'm not asexual. I'm not particularly repressed. (To myself, anyway. Beyond that, I show my emotions when I choose.) I think it's a good thing, if approached with respect. As a medical doctor, an FBI agent and an omnivorous information gatherer, I know more about the subject than you probably ever will. Should I enter a permanent relationship, I might do it; I might even be heretical enough to wait until I get married. But I feel no particular reason to experience it just for experience' sake, thank you. I respect myself quite a bit more than that. Shocking and perverse, isn't it? ------------------------------------------------------------------- "Hentai" means 'pervert' in Japanese; anime fans use it as a synonym for a lech. Oh, and Scully probably would have used more explicit language (Scully here is a medical doctor, as well as Our Little Sailor), but I thought it worked better without. mobrien@dnaco.net