The Bratwurst Song Lyrics: Maureen S. O'Brien ttto "Vlastelina Kolets" [(You Will Not Read) Lord of the Rings] by Deglyn Fey They're made out of pork, all the brats that I eat A light touch of spice on the meat, on the meat, Two, three fingers wide, colored light gray inside Of their casings -- their taste can't be beat. I cook them up neat -- microwave, or a grill -- They pop 'neath my teeth -- what a thrill, what a thrill! Horseradish and mustard, and ketchup, maybe, On a bun -- eat it yum! -- with a will. CH: But I will not eat a Johnsonsville brat! And I will not eat a Johnsonsville brat! And why would I want to, anyway? Who ever heard of bratwurst that's not gray? For Johnsonville brats, they are red, they are red, They're skinny and small -- don't look dead, don't look dead. And sometimes -- oh, please -- they pollute them with cheese; Just one more proof they're hot dogs, I've said. So if you want brats, buy one not labeled wrong From East Dayton Sausage or Kahn's -- yes, try Kahn's. But Johnsonville Brats -- they ain't brats, and they're not Even wurstwhile, and that's why my song.