Crossin’ Myths Some
Lyrics: Maureen S. O’Brien, Jan-Aug 2001
Music: to the tune of "Dawson’s Christian", Duane Elms
http://pages.cthome.net/dkelms/dawson.htm

Admiral Naismith took his flagship to Kline Station one fine day
And he gave our whole crew liberty, so off we went to play.
Where the Hollywood was shooting _Jamie Dawson III: Ghost Gore_,
And beside us, was this gravship built for war --
Navy ship from some hick system, Manticore.

Well, our captain it was nervous. It told me to bodyguard,
Keep the Adm'ral out of trouble. (Shyeah, that wouldn't be too hard!)
But he picked out a quiet place, far off from all the fray.
There was just one other customer that day,
A tall young woman in a white beret.

	CH: 
	There are stories ‘bout the monsters in your closet, 'neath your bed,
	There are stories ‘bout the vampires and the zombie walking dead.
	But the words that chilled my chitlins just like switching off a sun,
	Were "Hi. Miles Naismith." "Honor Harrington."
	Somehow I felt I really ought to run.

Then alarms began to go off, and the lights turned glowing red,
And I felt the station shudder, and I feared we all were dead.
Out the viewport we saw pirates our two ships fought while we stared.
We were cut off! but those crazies didn't care.

‘Cause the admiral said, "Holoship."  She said, "The Hollywood?"
Won't they have holoprojectors for effects work?" He said, "Should."
So they flew off in the Hollywood, not leaving them a note,
Or me back on Kline, which would have been my vote.
With no shields, no guns -- one hit -- that’s all she wrote!

	CH1:
	Some call mercenaries pirates, some call mercenaries thieves,
	Some call mercenaries things my virgin ears just won't believe.
	But one lunatic in this outfit was plenty --now there's two!
	Well, not counting those who choose to be their crew.
	So what’s it mean that I’m the only crew?

Well, the tech on board that holoship is found on very few, 
But then, _Jamie Dawson III_ had to surpass both I and II.
So the captain dodged the pirates while the adm’ral raised the dead 
And a vengeful fleet rose from its starry bed.

And they didn’t show on scanners, though they numbered 42, 
And they didn’t use the frequencies old holoweapons do, 
So the image was convincing of old Dawson’s ghostly fleet 
And the pirates all decided to retreat -- 
Which the Hollywood filmed from a front row seat.

	CH2:
	And there are holos about heroes who have saved the human race; 
	There are holos about heroes who have fallen in disgrace.
	But me turning on the cameras saved their brass and saved me, too, 
	From the crim’nal charges and the lawsuits due,
	‘Cause no sane stuntperson’d do what those two do.

And I know by now you’ve noticed just how they got along.
If you think I’ll tell you how well, well. . . It’s not that kind of song.
I don’t know where they got off to, or if they went on a spree.
They did not need crew for such activity, 
Even if those Betans say three’s company.

	CH3: 
	There’s the true gen that is gospel, there’s the story someone heard,
	There's the grapevine, and there's channels, and that good old little bird.
	But what I got from my sources, between you, me and the light --
	They sat playing 3D battle sims all night.
	And if you ask me, that girl and boy ain’t right!

When the vict’ry party ended -- did more damage than a war --  
Our ships headed for the wormhole, bound for home and Manticore.
But the Hollywood she hailed us, and I felt a growing dread 
As the screen came on, and this is what she said:

"_Jamie Dawson III_’s release date is about this time next year, 
And we’ll send you invitations to attend the worlds’ premiere.
So if you three’d like to come, then the occasion’s formal dress...."
And both Harrington and Naismith answered, "Yes."
But me, I’m stayin’ lightyears from that mess!

	CH4: 
	‘Cause there are sequels in the holos, there are sequels on tri-D, 
	There are sequels everywhere you look, and ten-book trilogies.
	But the sequel that I fear the most -- that's why I’m warning you -- 
	Is that _Harrington and Naismith Teamup 2_. 
	And next time, someone else can be their crew!