Here on Gilliganís Isle
It is a long brief lapse of insanity.
"1964!!!" Lestrade said, louder than Holmes wanted her to. He
winced and whispered quieter.
"Yes, 1964. And the odd thing is that it seems like 1964 on
this island. Look: that is a transistor radio. And over there is
a pair of spectacles. Even their clothing fits the time period."
Lestrade studied the Skipper: she didnít know when it was from,
but it certainly wasnít modern. She wondered what Holmes was trying to
"What are you trying to say?"
"Simply that this island is out of place."
"I could have told you that!" Lestrade loudly bellowed. The
Skipper gave them both an odd look.
Suddenly, Gilliganís head popped out from behind the trees,
followed by five other people. They eagerly walked out of the
forest, smiling, and they stared curiously at Lestrade and
Holmes. After a brief moment of silence, the Skipper began the
"This is Mr. Howell. Mr. Howell, Inspector Lestrade and
"That is Thurston Howell the Third," he snootily chirped at the
Skipper. "How lovely it is to meet you." Mr. Howell continued.
Holmes nonchalantly shook his hand. "Nice to meet you also."
"Ah!" Mr. Howell snapped back in surprise. "British! You sound
like an Oxford man. Are you an Oxford man?"
Holmes curiously raised an eyebrow. "Actually, no. Iím-"
"Well," Mr. Howell continued, "As long as you arenít a Yale man
it is nice to meet you. Are you British, dear?" He turned to Lestrade.
"Thatís Inspector. And no...."
"Ah, good for you!" Lestrade shot Holmes a sideways glance and
Holmes comically shrugged. The other castaways seemed to be rolling
"Oh, I nearly forgot," Mr. Howell continued, "This is my wife,
"Charmed, Iím sure," an older woman skipped forward, arms
primly facing out.
"Anyways," the Skipper cut in, apparently angered by his
interruption, "this is the Professor," a blonde man about Holmesí
height stepped forward and shook both Holmesí and Lestradeís
"Sherlock Holmes, eh?" the apparently eccentric man continued.
"There was a mention of you in one of my chemistry books."
"Really," Holmes answered, his tone half questioning and half
implying ĎI am not surprised but I will politely continue this
boring conversationí. The professor seemed not to notice.
"Yes. Something about judging how long bloodstains have been on
fabric. I think it was by measuring the amount of hemoglobin..."
"Iím sorry, it must be a different Sherlock Holmes," Holmes
interrupted, "I donít know too much about chemistry."
Lestrade gave him a suspicious look. Holmes returned her look
with one of ĎYes, that was me, of course, but I donít want to be
barraged by questions by this funny little man the entire time.í
"Hmmm..." the eccentric Professor continued, "that was an
interesting procedure. I will have to reread that in my book."
"Right," Holmes grunted, changing the subject.
"And this," the Skipper continued, "is Mary Ann." A short young
woman stepped forward, smiling widly.
"It is nice to meet you Inspector Lestrade and Mr. Holmes. Oh,
I do hope you will try some of my coconut cream pie tonight! We
are planning a welcome party!"
"Of course we will," Lestrade answered. "It sounds delicious."
Holmes didnít look as enthusiastic about the party as Mary Ann did.
"And finally," the Skipper finished his speech, "this is Ginger
Grant." A tall, ginger-haired woman slid forward in an over-
exaggerated movie star fashion.
"Itís a pleasure to meet you," she purred. Lestrade shook her
hand, vaguely recognizing her from somewhere. Holmes, un-
impressed (much to Gingerís dismay), shook her hand.
"And of course," the Skipper said, "You know Gilligan and I."
"Yeah, and I was the first one to see them!" Gilligan proudly
"No, you werenít, Gilligan. I was the first to find them. You
just ran into them."
"No, Skipper, I saw them first!"
"Gilligan, stop saying that!"
"I did, Skipper, I did."
Lestrade turned to Holmes and whispered, "What strange people."
"Strange and amusing," Holmes whispered back.
"NO, SKIPPER, I SAW THEM FIRST, RIGHT AFTER THE METAL MAN!"
"The metal man?" Lestrade interrupted. "Do you mean Watson?"
"Watson?" the Skipper asked in surprise. "That thing has a
"I certainly do have a name!" Watson, deciding this was an
appropriate time to make an entrance, pushed his way through the
Everybody, except for Holmes and Lestrade, gasped in surprise.
Gilligan was about to run away, but the Skipper grabbed his
collar. The Professor creeped up to Watson and began to study
"Watson," Lestrade asked, "where have you been?"
"Listening to you. And..." he turned to the Skipper and
Gilligan, "It is VERY rude to run away when all I wanted to do was ask
you a question.
"Watson," Holmes interrupted his lecture, "donít scold them.
They have never seen an android before."
"Are you with the government?" the Professor asked.
"Yes, actually," Lestrade turned and replied. "I am with the
Federal Bureau of Investigation and Holmes is with...Scotland
Yard." Holmes winced at Lestradeís association and shot her a
Lestrade chuckled. "Watson was a test subject we were working
on, but apparently our planed crashed." Holmes nodded in
agreement, deciding that honesty, in this case, was not the best
"Oh my," Mary Ann cocked her head. "Was there anyone else on
"No, it was a computer-controlled, hov-" Holmes elbowed her.
Lestrade realized this was the wrong time period to be explaining
computer-controlled hover planes. "No, there was nobody else on
board. Watson was flying the plane."
"Watson?" the Professor curiously asked.
"Yes, it was part of our experiment...." Lestrade improvised.
"Brilliant!" the Professor concluded. "Mechanical pilots! Think
of the benefits to commercialism and science!"
"Right...." Lestrade agreed.
"Hey," the Skipper added, "maybe when the government comes
looking for you, they will be able to rescue us too!"
Everybody cheered. Holmes rubbed his forehead.
"Sure...." Lestrade tried to be optimistic. Realistically, with
Watson here, they could call New Scotland Yard any time they
wanted. But she wasnít sure if reintroducing this lot to the gene
pool again would be a good idea....
"I better go get my coconut crŤme pies ready!" Mary Ann
cheered. Everybody else agreed and began to go off to prepare for
the party. Gilligan stayed behind and led them into one of the
battered grass huts.
"This is me and the Skipperís hut. You can rest here! Bye!"
Gilligan skipped away.
When he disappeared from sight, Watson turned to Lestrade and
Holmes. "What a strange person."
"That is exactly what I said," Lestrade answered. "Holmes,
please tell me what is going on here."
"Quite obviously it appears that this group of people were
shipwrecked. It would also appear that they have been here since the
"How could they have been here since the 1960ís?" Lestrade
On to Part 3!
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