Misunderstood: Diary of a Madman
by Mary Christmas (unicorn_76010 at lycos.com)
Mary: Mmph mmpp mummummammmmmphh mmmmmaymmmm
Frodo: *grins* Chaining didn't work...so I tied her up with an
Elven rope...and made her write this....
"I simply do not understand why I am hated. All I am striving
for is a better world. Certainly it entails world domination, but
the end justifies the means. I am simply misunderstood. My good
intentions are always twisted around.
"Take last Christmas. Yes, I was planning an army of highly
intelligent androids, but for peacekeeping purposes. (Once I had
taken over, of course.) Of course, Holmes and his metal lackey had
to foil that wonderful plan. Holmes wishes for anarchy! But I
digress. Where was I?
"Oh yes, she was there as well.
"Do not even get me started on Beth Lestrade, with her
flashing blue eyes, creamy white skin and...no, best to not think
things like that. She is my enemy. Thanks to Holmes. When I first
met her, I was perfectly polite (and astonished -- Fenwick had
neglected to mention she was beautiful). However, she spurned my
gesture! She called me a 'clonehead' of all things! Aside from the
fact that it was unimaginative, it was rude. I despise rudeness.
Now, if I could just take her into hand, and as a proper Victorian
gentleman teach her her manners....
"What's that? Holmes is a proper Victorian gentleman? Ha! Far
from it. Mister Sherlock Holmes was, is and always will be a
Bohemian of the worst sort. Certainly I masterminded a minor
criminal organization (all of London's underworld) but I at least
did not resort to drug use. Oh, he made all the usual excuses: it's
only seven percent, less than the legal amount; I only use it when I
have nothing to stimulate my mind...
"Excuses all drug addicts make. True, he no longer uses
cocaine; there isn't any here. But what happens when the novelty of
the 'future' wears off? I shall simply have to make sure I'm there
for Beth...Hey! Where do you think you're going?! I'm not finished!"
The large spotted dog stood, stretched and walked off. When
he had first seen the human, he had been wary. But then it had
started speaking, and he had walked over and sat down. In his
experience humans often spoke in a kind manner like that when they
were going to give handouts. All he had to do was sit and wait
patiently. However, when it became apparent that no food would be
forthcoming, he had decided to go on his way.
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