I needed a break from "Innocence" and after re-reading "The
Dating Game", I realized I had promised a new one...with Moriarty.
*evil grin* So...sit back and enjoy the insanity.... Oh yeah...there
isn't an announcer on this one because well...it's a loooooooooong story....
MARY: Hello, everybody and welcome to the next installment of
The Dating Game
! SH22 style. I'm the host and the announcer
because the Bob the Announcer Type Guy Association has cut me
off...they say I'm too hard on their people.... Anyway! Today's guest
is Professor James Moriarty, the world's most vile, reprehensible,
evil, horrid, disgusting, nasty...um...he's a criminal mastermind....
MORIARTY: (appearing on stage in a chair in front of Mary)
What? Oh, it's you again. Another game of Truth or Dare? Or perhaps
reading bad fics?
MARY: Noooo...hey, wait, how come Holmes and Lestrade didn't
recognize me when...oh, never mind...This is The Dating Game! SH22
style. You have to choose from three bachelorettes, and go on a date
with them after the show is over....
(aside) and if they happen to all be the same person and
arrest you, that's not my problem...a date downtown...heheh.
(aloud) Soo, any questions?
MORIARTY: Just one. Do you have a boyfriend or significant other?
MARY: (cheerfully) Nope! It's more fun messing with other
MORIARTY: As I thought...well, seeing as I'm stuck here for the
moment, we may as well get on with it....
MARY: Okay! Bachelorette number one is a good person who likes to
read old stuff.
(screen moves to show Lestrade sitting behind a curtain in
one of three chairs, looking very confused until she hears Mary's
voice. Then she groans and puts her head in her hands)
Bachelorette number two likes to blow stuff up!
(screen moves to show a holographic projection of Lestrade
which we shall call L2 from now on...)
And Bachelorette number three is a person!!
(yet another holographic projection, L3)
Okay, Jamesie-poo...ask your questions!
MORIARTY: What questions?
MARY: The questions off those little blue cards....
(in a lower voice) Jeez, what is so hard about this....
MORIARTY: Oh, I should have known. I thought it would be actual
questions used for me to get to know the girls better. Very well
then. Bachelorette number one, why is the sky blue, and if so does
peanut butter and jelly taste good?
LESTRADE: (recognizing Moriarty's voice, lowers her voice)
Oh zed! Mary...I don't care if you're all powerful in this one
instant...crypnotizer for you....
MORIARTY: (drily) Brilliant. Bachelorette number two, what
does the angle of trajectory have to do with this fic?
L2: (taking on the exact same manner and tone as Lestrade) Um...yes?
MORIARTY: (looking suspicious) Hmm...Bachelorette number
three, same question.
L3: (in a broken robotic voice) I...I...I...I...Have...no..no...no...idea
MORIARTY: I see...
MARY: Okay. Commercial break!