"The Tour"

Part 5

by Angel (aisumitsukai at home.com)
12/9/01

--Previous Message--
: Here we go!
: *duck and cover everyone! Badfic coming up!*

O.K. just coz I'm cheap I'm gonna redue the *mock* pt. and use it as the end.

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Our sto-- oh, yeah...Holmes and co. decided they didn't want to read any other fanficcies....

*I wonder why?*

...And on Moriarty's insistence they went back to the character pages and checked out his page.

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MORIARTY: The nerve of this Maureen! You could almost get the feeling that she didn't like me!

HOLMES: I wonder why....

LESTRADE: NO! Really?!

ANGEL: It's coz you're in love with Lestrade and she's an H/L fan, you're an evil criminal mastermind and you tried to kill Holmes and she loves Holmes.

*C.D.*: *You do know that we already knew that.*

ANGEL: Yup!

*C.D.*: *sigh*

LESTRADE:H/L fan? Or do I not want to know?

MARY: You don't want to know.

JOANNE: So I'm gonna tell you! It stands for Holmes/Lestrade. Or Holmes/Lestrade pairing!

HOLMES: *looks afraid*

LESTRADE: Could I make a few things clear, please?

ALL: *nod*

LESTRADE: Okaaaaay. FIRST of all, I am NOT in love with Holmes.

HOSTESSES: Suuuuuuuuure!

LESTRADE: SECOND of all, Holmes is not in love with me!

HOSTESSES: Wanna bet?

LESTRADE: AND THIRD AND MOST IMPORTANT! Moriarty is NOT, in ANY way, in love with ME! Got that? Good! Okay!

HOSTESSES: It's all right, Lestrade. We understand that you had a traumatic childhood and that you're in denial. It's O.K. You'll get over it by the end of this ficcie!

LESTRADE: Grrrrrrrrrrr....

MORIARTY: Umm, Lestrade, one problem.

LESTRADE: What?

MORIARTY: I am.

HOSTESSES:Ewwwwwwwwwwwwww...

HOLMES: *shudder*

HOSTESSES AND HOLMES: *Huddle conspiratorily and start whispering.*

LESTRADE: *ignores them* You are what? *looks confused*

MORIARTY: *rolls eyes* In love with you!

LESTRADE: *Goes into shock* *Comes out of shock*
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! YUCK, YUCK, YUCK, YUCK!!!!!! GET AWAY FROM ME!!!!!!

MORIARTY: *looks hurt* Will you marry me?

LESTRADE: HELPPPPPPPPP!!!!! HOLMES!!!!!???? HE'S YOUR ENEMY! DEAL WITH HIM!! YUCK, YUCK, YUCK!

MORIARTY: Should I take that as a 'no'?

HOSTESSES: *nod*

HOLMES: *pats Lestrade on shoulder* Stop hyperventilating, Inspector.

LESTRADE: Yuuuuuuuuuuuck!

HOSTESSES: *nod at Holmes and widen eyes expectantly*

*C.D.*: *This is the part where you tell her you love her, kiss her and leave with her!!!!!*

REST OF THE HOSTESSES:*nod*

HOLMES: *rolls eyes*

LESTRADE: *stops hyperventilating* Puh-lease! How do you guys come up with these ideas!

MORIARTY: Why won't you marry me!?

HOSTESSES: Coz she's in love with Holmes!

MORIARTY: No, she isn't!

HOSTESSES: Yess!

MORIARTY: NNNNnooooo!

HOLMES AND LESTRADE: *sweatdrop*

LESTRADE: They seriously scare me!

HOLMES: Yes. *Kisses Lestrade on the forehead and leads her out of the flat.*

*Meanwhile....*

HOSTESSES: Yeeessssssssss!

MORIARTY: Noooooooooooooooo!

HOSTESSES: YYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!

MORIARTY: NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

And so on...

*Holmes and Lestrade on the other hand, went and had a very nice lunch. We're not sure what happened to the rest of the group.*

THE END!

*Hurray!*

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There you go!

*Hopes you like it!!*

**********

MORIARTY: NO! This is a terrible fic!

HOSTESSES: IS not! You're just mad coz you missed the 'Or forever hold your peace' line at Holmes and Lestrade's wedding!

HOLMES AND LESTRADE: *sweatdrop* Wedding?
*look at each other and shrug* Sure, what the heck?

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The for real end!


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