...And on Moriarty's insistence they went back to the
character pages and checked out his page.
MORIARTY: The nerve of this Maureen! You could almost get the
feeling that she didn't like me!
HOLMES: I wonder why....
LESTRADE: NO! Really?!
ANGEL: It's coz you're in love with Lestrade and she's an H/L
fan, you're an evil criminal mastermind and you tried to kill
Holmes and she loves Holmes.
*C.D.*: *You do know that we already knew that.*
LESTRADE:H/L fan? Or do I not want to know?
MARY: You don't want to know.
JOANNE: So I'm gonna tell you! It stands for Holmes/Lestrade. Or
HOLMES: *looks afraid*
LESTRADE: Could I make a few things clear, please?
LESTRADE: Okaaaaay. FIRST of all, I am NOT in love with Holmes.
LESTRADE: SECOND of all, Holmes is not in love with me!
HOSTESSES: Wanna bet?
LESTRADE: AND THIRD AND MOST IMPORTANT! Moriarty is NOT, in
ANY way, in love with ME! Got that? Good! Okay!
HOSTESSES: It's all right, Lestrade. We understand that you had a
traumatic childhood and that you're in denial. It's O.K.
You'll get over it by the end of this ficcie!
MORIARTY: Umm, Lestrade, one problem.
MORIARTY: I am.
HOSTESSES AND HOLMES: *Huddle conspiratorily and start
LESTRADE: *ignores them* You are what? *looks confused*
MORIARTY: *rolls eyes* In love with you!
LESTRADE: *Goes into shock* *Comes out of shock*
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! YUCK, YUCK, YUCK, YUCK!!!!!!
GET AWAY FROM ME!!!!!!
MORIARTY: *looks hurt* Will you marry me?
LESTRADE: HELPPPPPPPPP!!!!! HOLMES!!!!!???? HE'S YOUR
ENEMY! DEAL WITH HIM!! YUCK, YUCK, YUCK!
MORIARTY: Should I take that as a 'no'?
HOLMES: *pats Lestrade on shoulder* Stop hyperventilating,
HOSTESSES: *nod at Holmes and widen eyes expectantly*
*C.D.*: *This is the part where you tell her you love her, kiss
her and leave with her!!!!!*
REST OF THE HOSTESSES:*nod*
HOLMES: *rolls eyes*
LESTRADE: *stops hyperventilating* Puh-lease! How do you guys
come up with these ideas!
MORIARTY: Why won't you marry me!?
HOSTESSES: Coz she's in love with Holmes!
MORIARTY: No, she isn't!
HOLMES AND LESTRADE: *sweatdrop*
LESTRADE: They seriously scare me!
HOLMES: Yes. *Kisses Lestrade on the forehead and leads her out
of the flat.*
And so on...
*Holmes and Lestrade on the other hand, went and had a very
nice lunch. We're not sure what happened to the rest of the group.*
There you go!
*Hopes you like it!!*
MORIARTY: NO! This is a terrible fic!
HOSTESSES: IS not! You're just mad coz you missed the 'Or
forever hold your peace' line at Holmes and Lestrade's wedding!
HOLMES AND LESTRADE: *sweatdrop* Wedding?
*look at each other and shrug* Sure, what the heck?
The for real end!