General Disclaimer

A slightly new perspective on the H/L relationship (new fic!... again!)

Yet another ficlet from yours truly I apologise in advance for the spelling, etc. This is rather spur of the moment but I've been considering a Greyson POV for a while so I think it turned out all right....

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Blast that ruddy primeval PI. Where in the blazes has he gone this time? Lestrade, with her infinite subtlety, is moping all over the place. I can't leave my office for fear of bumping into her and having to sponge her up off the floor. Honestly, couldn't she pine in private? You'd think she was some sort of silly teenager, the way she's behaving.

And Watson! (It's easier to refer to him as 'Watson' instead of 'that machine who thinks he's a 20th century doctor'. I do, however, recognise that he *is* a machine, not a human as *some* people seem to think.) Not only is he overly worried about that idiot in a deerstalker, but he's *much* too sympathetic with Lestrade. Did he download Father Christmas's diaries as well as Dr. John Watson's? Why is he so bloody *nice*? Honestly! He should tell her to get a spine and stop taking her frustration out on everyone else. She brought that fleabag home, not us!

And now, predictably, the aforementioned fleabag's scarpered off on some wild goose chase and left her behind in the dust. Unlike most people, apparently, I *love* to say I told you so. Which I did. Several times.

But did she listen? Of course not! She's the indistructible Inspector Lestrade. Arse-kicker extraordi-bloody-naire! She doesn't realise she has a heart like the rest of us until it's too bloody late! (I swear, I should be a fortune teller or some namby-pamby thing like that... probably make more money....)

I should draw and quarter him, that thrice-blasted busybody, for interfering with her. She used to be useful! Back in the good old days when there were no handsome little amateur detectives to make you look a fool. (I say 'amateur' with an enormous amount of glee, despite what he says about professional detectives.)

I tell you, he's not coming back this time! Probably scampered off with his paycheck to the Caribbean or some such place... lucky little git. Not that I'm complaining; he's much more trouble then he's worth.

Watson and Lestrade will get over the loss (not that Watson needs to, he's a robot after all) and things will go on as before -- oh, *God*.

He's back.

So much for my career as a gypsy; the expired amateur hath returned, trundling into my office as fine and dandy as ever.

He hasn't noticed me glaring at him yet, as he has his hands full with Lestrade and her ranting. Personally, I think he secretly enjoys antagonising her. Why does she always attract the weirdos?

Sometimes, however, underneath all my hoping and praying, I (sadly) realise he'll never actually leave. It's horrible having to burst your own bubble.

Honestly, he's much too attached to Watson to leave him. (Someone that awful needs someone that ridiculously nice around to balance them out!) And if things continue on in this bloody vein he and Lestrade will be attached by the ring finger on their left hand before the year's out.

Sometimes they're so cute it's sickening.

THE END

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I love Greyson, he's so cliched.