Quotable Quotes (eps 101-104)
by Duane Capizzi
BIG GUY: Weapon locked. Precision counts; a wasted shot costs taxpayers dearly.
BIG GUY: No not-of-this-earth surgical-probe-wielding invader's gonna deprive this planet's children and their growing bones of even one glass of wholesome milk!
TV REPORTER: Big Guy, say cheese.
Once again, our livestock is safe from rustling aliens. And we owe our
thanks to the Big Guy. This miracle of science, this state-of-the-art robot,
has been serving mankind for nearly a decade. It is therefore ironic that
Quark Industries, the very corporation responsible for Big Guy's creation,
has appointed a new CEO who promises cutting-edge technology that will
render the Big Guy obsolete. We'll believe that when we see it.
GARTH: Fancy shooting, sheriff.
DWAYNE: Jo, check the power core. Got a hunch it tweaked on me during
that ejection maneuver.
GENERAL THORTON: [awarding medal to Dwayne]
JO: The Big Guy lives forever in the history books -- without you. So
why the big coverup?
Generals, majors, fellow men of science, welcome to Quark Industries.
As promised, I am pleased to present tomorrow's hero...today.
With all due respect, sir, they call that toy my replacement?
RUSTY: Did I do good, Dr. Slate?
"Rule #1: Not indoors."
What? A girl can't speak her mind?
Ready and raring to go, sir! I may be small, but I'm a pretty darn
I'll summon every watt of my nucleo-protonic power and...punch a
hole right through that...um...ugly noggin of his!
Doesn't hurt. No pain receptors.
Dr. Slate, next time you consider downloading the Little Engine That
Could into a weapon of mass destruction...don't.
I'm in trouble, aren't I.
RUSTY: Pretty monkey.
Quark Industries has promised the world a solution. Let's hope this...
Glad you did. The trout weren't biting.
RUSTY: How did you find me?
RUSTY (to Dwayne): Hey! You were at my presentation ceremony.
RUSTY: Big Guy's dead!
RUSTY: Can I come, mister Army man? I can help Big Guy! I can be
Clear the decks. I've got a behemoth to clobber!
We're monster kibble.
Subject sighted. Definitely not an American.
For God and country. For every baby who's ever gonna cut a tooth,
and every kid who's gonna study hard and get a good job. For every last
living creature on planet Earth -- I'm goin' in.
Time to dish out...the candy!
Destination -- chops!
Sometimes a soldier has to say a farewell to arms!
RUSTY: Big Guy! It's me, your biggest fa...I mean, I'm here to help.
The Clop Chopper. One of your classics.
Kid's his own worst enemy.
Relax. I'm a professional.
Sure as shootin', this is gonna work!
Thank Henry Ford for standardized parts.
Hey, wanna grab a proton...shake? Or somethin'?
THORTON: Lieutenant, I admit mistakes were made. Big ones. So, on
behalf of the BGY-11 Committee, I take great pride in recommissioning
BIG GUY: Can't relish the victory without my new partner.
102. "Out of Whack"
by Greg Weisman
RUSTY (wearing mask): Aw...please, Dr. Slate? Robin gets to hang
out at the Batcave.
DONOVAN: Guess you didn't hear the monkey.
[after XL-103 is put into the 'Grinder', a Quark crushing device
for recycling junk]
ARG-12: You are granted a final opportunity to provide the location
of the robot known as "The Big Guy".
My regards to Tiny Tim.
RUSTY: Dr. Slate, you wouldn't ever throw me in the grinder, would
SLATE: Rusty! Be careful.
RUSTY: One sidekick reporting for duty, Big Guy!
BIG GUY: Name your make and manufacturer.
RUSTY: Let me know when you need help, okay?
RUSTY (to Gen'l Thorton and the soldiers): Bet he'll do one of his classic moves,
like the 'Servo Scrambler'.
RUSTY (after being hit): Musta been a megaton and a half.
DWAYNE: Ex Machina. 'From the machine.'
NUMBER FOUR: The Big Guy is the only thing standing between us and
SLATE: I won't let Dr. Donovan anywhere near you.
DONOVAN: Dr. Slate, that wasn't just the power pack you lost. It was the whole
JENNY: Baby needs his bottle.
MACK: Go fish.
DWAYNE (to Dr. Slate on communicator-thing): Care to explain that little security
BIG GUY: Listen, kid, it's for your own good. Now get inside!
RUSTY: Okay, Big Guy. I shoulda known I could never outrun you. Just promise
when they throw me in the grinder, they'll do it quick!
BIG GUY: Backup systems, check.
BIG GUY: Hold on, kid. We'll get you to a doctor.
RUSTY: Come on! Nucleo-protons. You want 'em. You need 'em!
RUSTY'S SYSTEM (in voice of Dr. Slate): Power pack disengaged. Sensory functions now operating via emergency battery.
RUSTY: Whacked him.
BIG GUY (quietly): You did good, son. You did good.
103. "The Inside Scoop"
by Roger S.H. Schulman
I smell something yummy. In your brain.
[while watching Jo and Garth play Robot Wars: the Home Game]
SLATE: I thought we had an agreement. No websurfing without permission --
and never past your power-down time.
RUSTY: Well, I just wanted to see if Big Guy had a website.
You heard me! 100 rounds, go!
Rusty, you just hacked your way into a classified military database.
[from BGY file footage DR22ZZx656T1888]
Big Guy, we hardly know you.
It's against company policy to go zombie the day before a trade show.
Mm. A buffet of brains.
I've discovered that the BGY-11 is not a robot -- as the world has been led to
believe -- but an exo-suit, operated from within by a human pilot. I'm concerned
about how this information might affect Rusty if he knew. The truth could crash
his Human Emotion Grid. This raises a dilemma -- do I tell Rusty?
Whoa! You guys have a love connection!
NEUGOG: I don't smell anything.
You can chew on a little move the Big Guy calls the 'Wazoo Whopper'!
His name's Neugog. And he's weird and creepy and he tried to drain my brain only
he couldn't 'cause I'm a robot just like Big Guy!
SLATE: Big Guy? You be careful in there.
Sounds like you could use a lozenge. One for each mouth.
Wait! I smell something squishy! Oho, you are hiding sweetbreads in there.
Tank tread repair -- military salutations -- the 'Wazoo Whopper'?
Your aptitude does not whet my appetite.
Mm. Brimming with theorems. Peppered with formulas. A delectable morsel!
RUSTY: Don't be embarrassed me and Big Guy had to save you, Dr. Slate.
You're a girl. We're robots.
Please, call me Dwayne.
DWAYNE: So whoever wears it will be safe from Neugog's brain drain.
"Blah, blah." "Blah blah-blah blah." "Blah-blah." I can't understand a
word they're saying. They must be speaking the language of love. I hope
they don't kiss. Ew!
SLATE: None of them know?
Tin Man is useless against it. Need a scarecrow. No brain.
JO: Dame on deck!
DONOVAN: They're hailing my genius, Jenny.
NEUGOG: What do you say to that?
You're not really interested in his empty skull, are you? He just sponges
off the brilliance of others; everybody knows that.
It better work...Slate.
It's the Love Boat. They're on their honeymoon!
RUSTY: Big Guy! Wanna hear a secret?
Thought I'd find you here. I'm psychic.
And where there's a brain, there's pain.
The kid'll come through.
Pop goes the weasel!
Let me introduce you to the BGY Incendiary Trigger Device. Sure you
see it coming. You're psychic. But there's not a darned thing you can do
SLATE: Lieutenant Hunter, I have to admit I've been wondering why you
DWAYNE (to Dr. Slate): Call me any time. I mean, in the event of a
104. "Birthday Bash"by Alexx Van Dyne
DONOVAN: Jenny...I'm getting sand in my expensive Italian loafers....
Rocks. I'm all a-tingle.
DONOVAN: A patent on this could rake in billions.
Who gave you clearance?
Just chit-chatting with my partner. You know, robot stuff.
DONOVAN: Is it safe?
JENNY: Now, I'm no captain of industry, Dr. D, but I don't think
we'll be selling many of those.
Ooh. And the pretty monkey said it's for sale.
I told all my friends you work for Big Guy!
DWAYNE: Hey, why don't we show Rusty how you can beat your uncle
at Air Commando?
I bet you don't need a mechanic.
[knocking at the door of room 14410, Bio-Synthesis]
DONOVAN (to primary-colored robots): Boys! Show these bums the exit.
DONOVAN: Maybe we can interest you in a conglomerator. Or a
20-speed torque flanger -- we got plenty of those.
DARLENE: So Dwayne -- any prospects for settling down, getting married,
maybe having a kid of your own?
RUSTY: The Big Guy signal! Duty calls.
Buddies have to stick together.
That's no way to treat a lady.
Welcome to Earth. I'll be your tour guide.
JEFFY: Wow! This is the best pwesent in the whole universe! What's it do?
I'm putting you two on hold, so I can take a more important call.
No fair! You peeked!
EMEK: For your meddling, feel the power of the Agglomerator as your planet
collides with its moon!
BIG GUY: And as for you, young man, I hope you learned a lesson about taking
things that don't belong to you. Particularly things which defy the known laws
JEFFY: You're still my hero, Wusty. You and Big Guy! Can they stay
for cake, Mom?