Moriarty: Welcome back to Live with Moriarty. Here's a
recap of what happened a few moments ago. Tonight's guest is Mr.
Sherlock Holmes, the world's greatest detective (and annoying).
Holmes has told us he can't reveal any information about his latest
completed case and that he has been or is in love with Inspector
Holmes: I did not admit to that, Moriarty. Quit putting words in
Moriarty: Right-o. Now on to the other questions for tonight.
Holmes: They had better not be about my love life.
Moriarty: They are not.
Moriarty: Tell us about Mrs Irene Norton nee Adler.
Holmes: *pauses, considering the question* She is a lovely and
intelligent lady. One of the few whom I have enjoyed competing
against in my cases.
Moriarty: Is it true that you had an affair with her?
Holmes: It is most certainly not! You said these questions were
not about my love life.
Moriarty: I lied.
Moriarty: Is it also true that you married a young woman several
years your junior?
Holmes: Well....*squirms a bit* Yes, it is true.
Moriarty: Ha! So you do like to go after younger girls than you.
Holmes: *shock* That is untrue! Russell was my apprentice and a
woman whose intellect was on my level. I waited until she was
twenty-one before I 'popped the question'.
Holmes: Ask me one more question like the previous ones and I'll....
Moriarty: You'll do what?
Holmes: I'll bring down your tv organization...
Moriarty: Like you did with my criminal empire?
Audience: GASP AT MORIARTY!
Moriarty: I mean, my shipping empire
Audience: BOO HISS AT HOLMES!
Holmes: Don't act so innocent, Professor Moriarty. You were not
a shipping tycoon but a criminal mastermind who has broken the law
Moriarty: And like you haven't.
Holmes: Hey, I broke the law only to help my cases.
Moriarty: Right! You know you enjoyed it. Admit it, Holmes!
Fenwick: And now a commercial break.