Quotable Quotes

"The Fall and Rise of Sherlock Holmes" by Phil Harnage (FALL)

What I am about to tell you is beyond belief, but let me assure you, every word is true.
Dr. John H. Watson

You should never let your enemies see you sweat -- especially when you're wearing makeup.
Holmes to Moriarty

Three downed light standards, extensive damage to private property, a fifty-year-old acacia tree flattened, and Lord Nelson's hat? All to catch one harmless rogue geneticist? Inspector Lestrade, we are here to protect New London, not destroy it!
Chief Inspector Grayson

You can crypt, but it won't stick!
Morgan Fenwick

No one under crypnosis overacts like that.
Inspector Lestrade

I'm not that crazy! Besides, there are rats down there.
Lestrade

I'm sending you to the brain techs.
Grayson

Hi, granny! Er - Chief.
Lestrade

I believe Moriarty has been brought back from the dead...In the history of crime, there has been
no greater criminal genius. Moriarty met his match but once. If we are to save the modern world
from his evil, we must bring back his most formidable opponent, the only man who ever defeated him:
Sherlock Holmes.
Lestrade

Doesn't look like much, does he?
Lestrade, on seeing the old Holmes in his honey-filled casket

-- He's...uh...incredible!
-- The best is yet to come...if the process works, that is.
Lestrade and Sir Evan Hargreaves, after seeing Holmes move while in the cellular rejuvenation tank

-- Sherlock?
-- At your service.
-- Welcome to the 22nd century, Holmes!
Lestrade and Holmes, their first words to each other

(Later, as Holmes looks at a food chunk)
-- You call this food, Inspector Lestrade?
-- H-how...H-how did you know my name?
-- Eyes and brains, my dear. The family resemblance is strong. I knew your ancestor only too well, I'm afraid. Besides, you're still wearing your badge.
Lestrade and Holmes

You brought me back for more than just my good looks and sparkling wit.
Holmes

-- The man is - dead!
-- So are you. Remember? I thought you would wait for the facts before you jumped to conclusions, Holmes.
Holmes and Lestrade

Dead detectives?
Grayson

Lestrade -- Holmes, meet Watson.
Watson --Greetings, human. I am a Model 7 Law Enforcement Compudroid. I am the property of
New Scotland Yard, currently registered to Inspector B. Lestrade, who calls me Watson.
Holmes -- Well, there are similarities. The waistline, and an unfortunate tendency to overblown pomposities.
Lestrade -- Too bad there's not more. Come on, Holmes. We have a date downtown. Stay, Watson. See that pile of books over there by the computer?
Watson -- Affirmative.
Lestrade -- Read...er, scan them. Maybe you'll learn something. Holmes is gonna need an informed assistant.

(later, in the cruiser)
-- Lestrade, I looked at those books. They were my friend John Watson's journals. Where did you get them?
-- Family heirlooms. Do you miss him?
-- More than I..care to admit.
Holmes and Lestrade

It is my business to know what other people don't.
Holmes

So that's the deceased detective who's going to save civilization as we know it. I am underwhelmed.
Grayson on first seeing Holmes

(sarcastically)
-- I'm sure you can succeed where New Scotland Yard cannot.
-- It wouldn't be the first time.
Grayson and Holmes

Next time, pay attention when I make a constructive suggestion? I do not say these things lightly.
Holmes

It may look like Moriarty. It may think like Moriarty. But Moriarty it is not, no matter he wants us to think so.
Holmes

-- One lucky guess does not a New Scotland Yard detective make.
-- All the more reason to remain in private practice.
Grayson and Holmes

Holmes-- What prompted you to come to our aid, Watson?
Watson-- My good man! Surely you know the answer to that. I am, after all, your devoted servant, Dr. John Watson. And I shall endeavor....
Holmes-- Lestrade! What have you done? This robot thinks he's Watson!
Lestrade-- Elementary, my dear Holmes.
 

"The Crime Machine" by Martha Moran (CRIM)

Ah, the Swiss Alps. At least they haven't changed over all these years; still as elegant as ever.
Pity I can't say the same about Lestrade's driving.
Holmes

That mighty pine was but a sapling then.
Holmes

What's a worm-eaten 19th century rent-a-cop know about a 22nd century crime riot?
Grayson

-- You've been stewing in honey too long. How could you know that?
-- Careful observation and perceptive thought: eyes and brains.
Grayson and Holmes

Has London changed so radically? I don't know of any place called "Oh-well-uh."
Holmes

And Little Miss Crimefighter's going straight to number one on the Yard's most wanted list!
Fenwick

Coming, Lestrade?
Holmes

One mustn't judge the mettle of a person by his outside -- which, in your case, is metal --
but by what's inside -- which is most decidedly Watson, through and through!
Holmes

I want you in my office ASA-mmediately!
Grayson

Lestrade: You'll be working under me.
Holmes: You? Balderdash! What sort of world has this become?
Lestrade: A better one -- for women.
Holmes: And men?
Watson: That rather depends on the man, wouldn't you say?
 

"The Hounds of the Baskervilles" by Martha Moran (HOUN2)

Drivel and poppycock! A trick of the light. An overactive imagination. A publicity stunt.
Holmes, on the lunar hound legends

....Sudden decompression would have exploded the faceplate out, not in -- taking the person inside with it and creating a very nasty mess indeed, I might add.
Holmes

It's not the man himself, but a clone -- as evil as the original, I'm afraid -- complete with his memories intact. Isn't technology wonderful.
Holmes

So nice to see you, Holmes, after all these centuries. Amazing that your wits are still with you.
Moriarty

-- Pleased to meet your acquaintance, Miss Lestrade.
(he bends to kiss her space-suited hand)
-- Inspector Lestrade to you, clonehead.
(she snatches her hand away and he looks hurt)
Moriarty and Lestrade

Today the moon -- in less than five minutes, the world.
Moriarty

It's your little lab rat, Martin Fenwick!
Lestrade

Fenwick hoped Moriarty would become his brilliant slave -- but slave turned on master.
Lestrade
 
"The Adventure of the Empty House" by Marv Wolfman (EMPT2)

Not even New Scotland Yard will be able to find any trace of you.
Moriarty

I have now lost my best friend - not once, but for the second time.
Watson

We both miss him terribly, but the wheels of justice must keep turning. He'd want it that way.
Lestrade

He's a popsicle, but he's still breathing.
Lestrade

They mean...they mean...dash it all! I don't know what they mean!
Watson

-- The young man liked to play games, he did.
-- So do you.
Holmes(in disguise) and Lestrade

Ronnie Adair couldn't hit the side of a starship - from inside.
April Murray

Holmes always said never to accept your first conclusion, no matter how perfect it appears.
'Dig,' he said. 'Discover the truth beneath the lies.'
Watson

Ice, Watson. Ice in July.
Holmes

He is the assassin Moriarty hired and equipped to eliminate me. It is rather a compliment, in a way.
Holmes

Lestrade -- Freeze!
Moran -- No, you freeze!
Holmes -- Sorry, Moran. The Cold War is over.
 
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