You cowardly, loathsome, lying -- how could you!
Nancy Barclay
Are you suggesting he turned into an animal and climbed out the window?
Lestrade
These government investigations cause more trouble than they're worth.
The Barclays' housekeeper
We've picked up a trail. The only question is, of what?
Holmes
(To 'cab driver) Follow that hovercab! (aside) I always wanted to say
that.
Deidre
-- Mr. Holmes! I followed Emilia to some hotel in the DNA Alley.
-- As I suspected. Our mysterious hybrid may be the result of illicit
bio-engineering.
Deidre and Holmes (over Deidre's com-link)
It's turning out to be one of those days.
Lestrade, after being locked out, shot at, and nearly blown up
-- Congratulations, Lestrade, you've done it again. Orders have come
down from upstairs.
You've been ordered to leave Biotech out of your investigation.
-- You'll excuse me for bringing this up, sir, but it's a little hard
to investigate the disappearance of the head of a major company
without looking into his company for suspects and motives.
-- An investigation's already underway -- from above. You're in the
way, Lestrade. You've been removed from the case.
-- Exactly whose way am I in? The government's, or Barclay's?
Greyson and Lestrade
All roads lead to Biotech.
Lestrade
If someone's willing to blow up their storage system to hide
something, I'm willing to put my neck on the line to find out what.
Lestrade
My hacking skills are dustier than my first ionizer.
Lestrade
My job's on the line now. They say I can't control my own people!
Greyson
That's no longer your problem, Lestrade. Your badge and ionizer, please.
Greyson
I've already changed my genetic ID, my fingerprints and retinas.
James Barclay
-- Did you ever love Nancy?
-- Yes, of course. I loved her for everything she had: wealth, power,
position.
Holmes and James Barclay
Lestrade! Good to see you defending truth and justice once again.
Holmes
But whatever happens, Victor is a fortunate man. Nancy Barclay's heart
will always see what her eyes may not -- the true man inside the beast.
Holmes
"The Adventure of the Deranged Detective" by Henry Gilroy (DERA)
-- Or do I have to call on 'Arthur Doyle'?
-- I will never live down that pseudonym.
Lestrade and Holmes
Our dear Inspector Lestrade has already solved this case.
Holmes
Ears and brains, Watson.
Holmes
...I sense an unusual playfulness in her demeanour.
Holmes, on Lestrade
You know what a lone wolf she is.
Greyson, on Lestrade
-- But I must say, this is risky business, bringing her here.
-- You are right, Watson. However, knowing Lestrade, I doubt she'd
have it any other way.
Watson and Holmes
If it's a diagnosis you're after, Lestrade's behavior is no surprise.
She's notorious for her lapses in self-control and disregard for the safety
of others.
Dr. Cushing
I have had some experience in that problem-solving sort of thing.
Holmes, as "Dr. Arthur Doyle"
Two detectives gone loony for no apparent reason?
Greyson
Ah. It's all about the oysters, isn't it? I knew it! I knew it!
Holmes
That Moon resort turned out to be a poor investment for me.
Dr. Culverton Smith
-- I controlled her every move with this remote.
-- And yet she still managed to leave me all the clues I needed to
solve your little puzzle.
Smith and Holmes
-- You're not mad! Either of you!
-- Angry, perhaps. Deranged, no.
Watson and Lestrade
"The Adventure of the Sussex Vampire Lot" by Phil Harnage (SUSS2)
-- Just a few more centimeters of steel, and the jaws of justice will
put the bite on our caped criminal!
-- Lestrade seems to be enjoying herself.
Lestrade and Holmes
-- It was designed to withstand a nuclear war!
-- Ah, but nothing can withstand our Lestrade. She's a force of nature
unto herself.
Watson and Holmes
Don't let Chief Inspector Greyson grind you down, Lestrade.
Holmes
But the legends it was based on are older than -- well, you, for example.
Deidre, to Holmes
It's cold enough to freeze the nose off Lord Nelson's statue.
Wiggins
The bird has shown, and the bird has flown.
Holmes
-- I must confess that I was afraid, Holmes.
-- You were not programmed for arbitrary risk-taking.
Watson and Holmes
You can't command what you can't understand.
The vampire
Not exactly the best security arrangement.
Holmes
Besides, I have to find out where that vampire thing buys its nailpolish.
I'm so tired of buying mine off the Internet.
Deidre
Yes, it boggles the mind, doesn't it, Officer Lestrade? And the smaller
the mind, the bigger the boggle.
Moriarty
Must you both be so theatrical?
Lestrade
You're as brave as you are beautiful, Fenwick.
Lestrade
One would do well to deceive the master of deceit.
Holmes
Partner this, Moriarty!
Lestrade
Lesson number one: Never cuff a cop with her own cuffs. She might know
how to get out of them.
Lestrade
-- To the maxo!
Amanda Wheelwright
-- Just keep that creep Moriarty away!
-- I will do my best. Indeed, it is my only reason for being.
Amanda and Holmes
"The Scales of Justice" by Ken Pontac (SCAL)
However, my time spent in the company of Sherlock Holmes has shown me
that nothing is impossible, and that the inconceivable may often become
reality.
Watson
Doctor Grimesby Roylott is the only man in New London still working
with living snakes.
Holmes
I don't see any pyth...I say...get away!
Watson
It's a sad world where bottle-bred monstrosities like Chapman's take
precedence over our precious
natural heritage!
Dr. Grimesby Roylott
...too terrible to contemplate -- without further confirmation.
Holmes
Agnes, heel!
Dr. Forrest Chapman
'Subtract what belongs to the scene and anything that remains becomes
suspicious.' A page from your own book, and it served me well.
Watson to Holmes
-- Holmes! What's going down?
-- We are, Lestrade, unless my associate can offer a technical solution
to this dilemma!
Lestrade and Holmes, as Holmes and Watson's coachcraft takes a dive
He's as coldblooded as the snakes he favors!
Dr. Chapman
And take good care of Agnes!
Dr. Chapman
-- He said Roylott's got answers. That's just what I'm in the mood for,
right about now.
Lestrade
Once a snake, always a snake!
Dr. Chapman
You're no Cinderella, but I bet this'll fit you like a four-fingered
glove.
Dr. Chapman
I wanted to give her generation a chance to regain the past we stole
from her.
Dr. Grimesby Roylott
Holmes the meddler! Holmes the busybody! Holmes, the New Scotland Yard
lackey!
Dr. Grimesby Roylott
In his own twisted way, he did it out of love. But he lost sight of
the truth, and then he was lost.
Holmes
That even an eminent herpetologist should not attempt to tip the scales
of justice in favor of evil.
Holmes
"The Resident Patient" by Robert Askin (RESI2)
They may be bold, but they've got bricks for brains.
Lestrade
-- She never listens to me.
-- Or me.
Grayson and Holmes
Chief Inspector! Nice to see you out from behind your desk.
Lestrade
Nobody's worn glasses in over a hundred years.
Lestrade
If you ask me, your dead detective is suffering from rigor mortis of
the brain!
Grayson
-- You let them go?!
-- We had to. There was nothing on them, not even an unauthorized refuse
deposit citation.
Lestrade and a Yard constable
Prosthetic eyeballs?
Holmes
-- Don't you notice something out of place? Read the room with
your eyes. Everything in it has a story to tell.
-- Well, then, it's got to be a really old story. Ancient history.
-- Ah, but there's 'ancient' and there's just 'really old'. It's something
I've become acutely aware of in my current situation. This television, for example.
To you, it is a relic, centuries old. But to me, it is
an invention that did not even yet exist when I was...uh...(clears
throat)...in my heyday.
Holmes and Wiggins
(henchman with weapon pointed at Watson)
One more move, and my mate is going to have to de-magnetize this contraption's
memory bank!
Martin Fenwick
-- You knew! But how? I've made myself so blindingly attractive!
-- That's debatable.
Martin Fenwick and Holmes
-- That's a clever tongue you've got in your head, Mr. Holmes. Perhaps
it should be silenced.
-- Not by the likes of you, Fenwick!
Fenwick and Lestrade
Eyes and brains, my dears, eyes and brains.
Holmes to Watson, Lestrade and Wiggins
-- What could be so important?
-- The key, dear Lestrade. The key to the whole mystery.
Lestrade and Holmes
When leaders of importance meet to consider the fate of nations, there
is often more action at the podium than you'll ever find at a sports field.
Holmes
You mean, how can I see past your anato-morphing disguise? Please.
There's more to a man than his appearance.
Holmes
-- You amaze me, sir!
-- (sigh) That happens.
Dr. Cyril Blessington and Holmes
Now you must save me from Moriarty! You are the only one who can --
the only one who is his match. He said so himself.
Dr. Blessington
I must compliment you for the improvement to Fenwick's skull.
Holmes
Moriarty would be pulling the strings on two of the most powerful nations
on Earth, to do with as his whims dictate.
Holmes
Now that's what I call exciting political discourse!
Wiggins
Your time will come, Moriarty. I shall ring the curtain down on you
yet.
Holmes
"The Sign of Four" by Phil Harnage (SIGN2)
-- Beautiful! Takes my breath away, just looking at it!
-- If the oxygen generator goes down, it'll really take your breath
away -- for good.
Sholto Senior and James Morstan
Watson, I've eliminated the impossible and the improbable, and I still
cannot deduce where among your notes you have hidden my lunar passport.
Holmes
That is my job, Miss Morstan -- to know what others do not.
Holmes
-- But I don't think he's in any danger of cardiac arrest.
-- But in imminent danger of another kind of arrest!
Watson and Inspector Fairlie (Lunar Police)
-- I am....
-- I know who you are. But you have no authority up here. We can solve
our own cases, thank you.
Holmes and Inspector Fairlie
Hold on tight, Miss Morstan. We are about to take a great leap of faith.
Holmes
When we get back to Earth, I'm making an appointment with a body shop.
Watson
There's no villainy in this story -- only misunderstanding.
Holmes
-- You must think we're a little slow up here on the Moon.
-- No more or less than anyone in this room, sir.
Fairlie and Holmes
We all have eyes and we all have brains. It is how we use them that
counts -- and how we shall use them in the years to come.
Holmes