Quotable Quotes

"The Five Orange Pips" by Greg Johnson (FIVE2)

Find Sherlock Holmes!
Joseph Openshaw

John Openshaw: Get your metal lackey away from me!
Holmes: Young John Openshaw here is seeking our assistance, Dr. Watson.
Watson: Indeed. Then I shall assist him down the street to the personality improvement seminar!

Try to understand. He has been raised as an Anti-Tech. His is the world of 1890. You epitomise all that he has been taught to hate -- technology.
Holmes

-- My father would not want that machine in our house!
-- Your father is conveniently lacking a vote. And if Doctor Watson stays, I stay.
John and Holmes

Lucky for you, this machine happens to like people!
Watson

Watson -- (in an aside to Holmes) Do you suppose he too is an Anti-Tech?
Elias Openshaw -- Mr. Holmes, you are welcome here, but that hunk of hardware is not!
Watson -- (sighing) Asked and answered.

Your lies will not hinder my investigation, Mr. Openshaw; nor will I brook any other interference.
Holmes

This is certainly suspicious data for the old processor!
Watson

Listen, you iron mech! At best, you are a servant. At worst, you are a jumble of warmed-over diodes and fiber optics. Be glad I don't make you stay with the dogs!
Elias Openshaw

We shun technology, John, because it's not natural. Robots are artificial life and simply should not exist.
Little by little we are losing our humanity to these machines.
Elias Openshaw

Five credits for a scan of that signature.
Holmes (in disguise)

-- The signature was bogus, but the handwriting popped up an eleven-year-old holofile!
E. Hawkins, a low-level member of the Tech Saboteurs. It seems they....
-- Sabotaged technology?
-- Deduce that all by yourself, did you?
-- I am Sherlock Holmes, after all.
Lestrade and Holmes

-- Backup! Where are you?
-- (blowing the smoke from her ioniser) Sorry, Holmes. Greyson wouldn't approve backup. I'm all you've got.
-- Best you stand guard, then. If they overrun the house and find that cyber-nest before we do, all is lost.
Holmes and Lestrade

One global robot destroyer, present and accounted for...perhaps you'd better hold it.
Watson

Excuse me, gentlemen. Visitors are dropping in everywhere. I think it's time to hit the high road!
Lestrade

-- Rather powerful.
-- Yah. And just what the heck are Anti-Techs doing with inhibitor beams, anyways? Lousy hypocrites!
Holmes and Lestrade

-- Are you safe, young squire?
-- Don't go! You'll be deactivated!
-- Believe me, I could use the rest.
John Openshaw and Watson

Holmes! Very impressive. Please, entertain me with the deductive reasoning which led you to me.
Moriarty

A little robotic cleansing.
Moriarty

Moriarty -- I suggest a trade -- this New Scotland Yard zealot in exchange for the cyber-nest.
Lestrade -- Forget it, Holmes. Don't negotiate!
Holmes -- No deal.
Moriarty -- I'll sweeten the pot, then. (drops Lestrade) The only antidote to bertholiate root.

Come now, Holmes. We're only talking about the inconsequential loss of robotics. In previous centuries, everyone got along fine without them. You remember, don't you?
Moriarty

Holmes. My own mortality aside, those micro-ticks would wipe out every automated system in the world! People's lives would be in danger.
Watson

-- No! You can't do that to Dr. Watson! He's more than a robot; he's my friend!
-- Please, John. It's for the greater good.
-- See? A win-win situation! Except for Watson, of course...Until we meet again, Sherlock Holmes!
John Openshaw, Watson, and Moriarty

The rat's gone into its hole.
Lestrade, looking down at Moriarty's escape route into the Underground. Feel the love.

The future is once more secure for the likes of our beloved robotic citizens...
and most of all, you.
Holmes, to Watson

-- All they see is the machine. Why can't they get to know the real you?
-- Yes. Why indeed?
John Openshaw and Watson

"The Red-Headed League" by Martha Moran (REDH2)

Holmes! Are you reading the paper?
Lestrade

As for lunch, your breath smells quite nicely of ginger chicken and you've got a bit of broccoli stuck between your teeth.
Holmes

Amazing! You should be a private eye!
Carter Wilson to Holmes

-- We of the League are dedicated to enhancing the reputation of the redheaded individual.
-- No insignificant task.
-- Indeed! Redheads are an abused underclass, and the League's work gives them much-needed self-esteem.
-- (pointing at picture on console) What's this?
-- I'm changing all the great characters of literature to redheads. I just finished David Copperfield
and now I'm working on Moby Dick. (Wilson presses a button and turns the White Whale on his console to Red.) Too much?
-- (chuckles) I suggest you stick with the herrings.
Wilson and Holmes

Careful, Watson -- do not leap to conclusions. Let the facts lead us.
Holmes

Welcome to The Fish and Virtual Reality Chips Cafe! Eat the finest fish at the finest places on Earth.
Carter Wilson's menu program

Look, you can have what's on the menu: fish and chips, chop suey rolls and chips, or beans and chips.
Vince Spalding

-- Glean anything of importance, Holmes?
-- I deduced how not to make fish and chips.
Watson and Holmes

(Holmes and Watson, looking at a cubist painting)
-- Watson, for once I am completely baffled! Well, this woman has certainly had a rough day.
-- It is a famous piece of modern art, Holmes.
-- Well, it is modern.

That explains my sudden drowsiness...and here I thought it was the artwork.
Holmes

It's that cross-eyed lady from the museum!
Watson

Meet Gerald Saxe, the world's pre-eminent art thief, and Titus Mulrooney, one of the world's greatest art forgers.
Holmes

-- (into his com) Careful, Lestrade -- they are dangerous.
-- My kind of gig.
Holmes and Lestrade

-- Mr Gotting, what a privilege! It's been 34 years since you've appeared in public. Have you anything to say to the world?
-- People talk too much.
Channel 5 Newscaster and 'reclusive billionaire Casper Gotting'

I started me own Red-Headed League!
Wilson

"The Man with the Twisted Lip" by Greg Johnson (TWIS2)

-- Computer, direct incoming call to Watson remote.
-- (from the other room) I have it!
Holmes and Watson

Latest news: Chief Inspector Grayson raids empty room. Details on demand.
Channel 5 newscaster

Phone interruptions. Computer interruptions. No wonder I can't play this thing.
Holmes

In an effort to clip the wings of suspected mobsters The Night Ravens, Grayson stormed their suspected headquarters only to find they had already flown the coop.
Channel 5 newscaster

-- I envy noone, Watson. It wastes energy and is not productive. Now, on to Baker Street!
-- Oh, he's jealous, all right!
Holmes and Watson

I say, Holmes, you nearly gave me an overload!
Watson

Well, it was a very reasonable theory, Watson. By eliminating it, you have furthered our case.
Holmes

-- But perhaps I should take over the driving.
-- Nonsense. I've been practicing. See? (puts hovercoach into a dive)
Watson and Holmes

-- Nice, Holmes! You banged him right into New Scotland Yard!
-- Not quite the result I intended, but it will do.
Watson and Holmes

-- British Intelligence officers? Why are they here?
-- It's not for their intelligence, I can tell you that.
Holmes and Lestrade

Prepare to forget everything you ever heard -- permanently.
Night Raven impostor

Sleep tight!
Watson

-- Nice move for a panhandler!
-- Yes, but quite basic for a field agent.
Holmes and Lestrade, on Boone's actions

(Greyson on the newscast)
-- Working in conjunction with British Intelligence, I am pleased to announce I have broken up the criminal organization known as the 'Night Ravens'.
(Lestrade, switching it off in disgust)
-- Oh, give me a break! He had zed to do with the bust and knew zilch about British Intelligence having Neville undercover! Urh!

And then there was Neville's blue coat. It yielded only one person's DNA during Beth's forensic scan.
-- Holmes

-- One nice carefree breakfast, as ordered.
-- The first of many, I hope, now that I've retired from a life undercover.
-- New London's loss, Mr. St.Clair, but a find for your lovely wife.
Lois St.Clair, Neville St.Clair, and Holmes
 


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